November102010

His Strange Ways

A few days ago I wrote a poem about how I was feeling about my non-existing relationship with my father. I would post it if I could find it, when I do I will. But the poem is some feeling toward my father that God felt needed to be released. It’s gotten to the point to where me and my siblings wonder if he’s still alive. Well today God confirmed he was through one of my father’s belittling bi-yearly emails. I just find it ironic, or divine you decide, that he would send one days after God brought all those feelings to the surface. Not quite sure if this is God’s way of telling me it’s time to confront the resentment and make some kind of mends or just saying “hey, he’s alive and at least cares enough to send an email”. Too many questions and too many what ifs involved in that broken relationship. Biggest question I ask myself…”Will I feel anything when he’s gone?”….

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